I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize