My pussy is not your playground.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
