i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
