He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
