so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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