What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
