Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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