just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He did a backflip because drugs
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
