I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
