I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
