we're blogging at a bar
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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