Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize