Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
