Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
