Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
