Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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