I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
