it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My dick has a subreddit
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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