wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
