I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize