last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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