I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Enjoy the penises
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
