Your tits are I can't wait for
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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