yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
