just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize