the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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