I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
