There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
