i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Let's paint friendship bongs
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize