google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
