he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
