If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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