2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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