where am i from again
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize