omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
