I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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