is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
