My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
