real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
