so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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