hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
