so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
