Can Purell be used as lube?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You are a genius and a whore.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
