Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
