i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
