that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
