I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
