the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
