On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize