Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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