Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
