i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
