I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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