Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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