you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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