I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We had to coat check the pizza.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
