worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
