it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize