She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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