Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
These tits shall not be calmed
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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