and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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