I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
