There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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