I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I came so hard my ears popped.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize