well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
