I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
