This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
