and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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