The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
