i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
