Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
