I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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