only if we run a train.
done.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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