I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
