ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
