so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize