Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize