this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
