I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
