I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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