Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
