I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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